The Weather Changed, Summer Came and So On by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Seagull Books
Published: 2015-08-17T16:00:00+00:00

In February, he tells her he will go by himself if she doesn’t want to come along. He wants to scream at her that she can’t hide.

But he doesn’t know if it’s true.

Maybe you can.

Maybe you can just forget everything, your whole damned life, leave it in a ditch and move on as if nothing has happened.

Once in a while, he tries to remind her of all the nice things, he talks about places that were once their places, back when everything was different, when they were other people, people who had not yet begun sinking down into this quagmire of a life that had been waiting for them. For one whole night they sat in the kitchen. At first the conversation resembles radio static, but the hours pass and Kari makes tea and Johnny says he loves her just like he used to do, he says that fate, that God, that he doesn’t know why, that he doesn’t know anything any longer either. She listens to him. Lights cigarette after cigarette. Watches him and looks at the darkness outside. She puts out her cigarette and starts to say something. She speaks so slowly, he lets her take the time she needs. She looks out the window and he thinks: What is she looking at? But he knows what. He knows what she sees and what she doesn’t see. That time we took the America Line, she says, I was nauseous and dizzy. My mother had bought new dresses for Ylva and I, she says.

I felt like a princess.

She says it so slowly.

The night is dark blue, almost completely black. Johnny holds his cup with both hands. He says a thousand things and Kari looks at him and the kitchen slowly fills up with love, a love that crumbles, that will soon be mute and faint, but that remembers itself on this night.

I love you, he says and Kari sees Johnny Richards, those years by the shore, the years under the sun when their eyes didn’t burn the way they do now.

But everything gets distorted. There is no way out.

He knows what she sees. He knows what she sees through that black window.

My God, Johnny says. I should have seen the girls too. Then you wouldn’t be all alone with it.

Then they go to bed and afterwards sleep comes.

A dream about the garden, about the tree, where the girls are standing.

And then they fall inwards within the dream, as if through a shaft, towards something repulsive and sad, towards Kari who cries and cries beside her daughters.

And the girls.

Dressed in yellow dresses, ice-cream cones in their hands, alive and living.

And then Kari isn’t able to cope with such dreams any more.

The future—sometimes a wall, sometimes a cloud.

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